::you're my saving grace ::

Monday, January 22, 2007

The day where I knew you existed was during lecture where I remembered asking you for notes to copy. That was how rumours started between me and you but we were not close at all nor were we friends. As time passes by, MSN pulled us together and that was when we became close. We started chatting almost every night like nothing else matters in the world. The longest chat lasted till around 2 30am. You told me about your day, life, interest, ex-girlfriends, school and friends and it was like all of a sudden, it became something I look forward to every night.
If I was not online for several days as I had sent my laptop for repair, you would sent me a text message asking me what was wrong and telling me that you missed me. I really liked you a lot then but I was wondering if you feel the same for me?
I asked you one day what would your answer be if I told you that I like you. You did nto reply immediately but you dropped hints as days went by. I pretended not to notice as I do not want to get hurt or misinterpret all those words you said to me. You were always saying or doing sweet things to me. I really appreciate that even though I had never once show it or tell you.
You were someone whom I want to talk to no matter how bad my day turned out to be. You just seem to be able to make me smile and felt blessed in the end.
I will not forget the day when you confessed about your feelings. At the moment, I felt so scared but glad. That when I know that I had fallen for you. I waited patiently as you told me that you had a number of factors to consider before getting together.
On the last day of 2006, I became paronoid when you asked me. I was afraid of getting hurt as I had been fooled by love before and was deeply saddened. It took me a couple of years to get over someone. Having all those thoughts, I decided to trust my instinct to believe in you and that you will never do something to hurt me or made me cry. That was when I felt really blessed and sweet to have you and even the smallest thing just made me laugh that day. Was looking forward to see you so much.
But now...
I had been hurt once again
But this time is so much deeper than the first love
You did not even reply any of my text messages
Or calls.
Whenever you see me
You will be 'busy' at that precise moment
pretending not to notice me at all
It hurts me to be treated this way
Then something within me tells me
It is time to let go,
even though deep inside my heart
I do not want to
Maybe because I loved you too much
to allow you
to hurt me again and again
I have been missing you for countless days
It has been so long since we last talked
I just do not know what I had done wrong
What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel for me
What can I do to get us back together again
If I can have just one more day to be with you
I will tell you how much I love you
How much I miss you
How much I want you to be by my side
and I will do just anything for us to be back together
There's only so much I can take
And I am just tired
And who knows I might feel better
Just feel so empty all of a sudden
No one to be there for me
When I am sad, happy, angry or confused
No one to put a smile or make me laugh
When I had a bad day
There is nothing to look forward to
Anymore

I miss you so much
And I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better
But it's just not the case

mich @ 6:58 PM