::you're my saving grace ::

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Christmas was spent rather unexpectedly. Making new friends in the cold was the last thing I ever wanted. How weird could that be? Everything turns out well though and so much fun going around. Indeed a nice christmas celebration

I just knew that we were having the same thoughts that particular day
nothing was being said throughout the whole journey
However, I could sense that we, both were pretty upset
I just cant help but let tears rolled down uncontrollably
When we finally sat down, leaning close without facing each other, tears started brimming again and realised I wasnt the only one. We held on tightly to each other. The feeling was simply indescribable, never wanting to let it go. Something which I never felt before. How I wish we could stay this way for a little longer.

This month hasn't been a great month, she had been angry mostly due to my constant ignorance and dumbness. I was never angry with her but with myself due to the fact that I wasnt thinking hard enough or wasn't thinking at all to begin with. She made me realised that. And, I teared constantly cause I made her angry when I aint supposed to. Sometimes, I wish I could do something or just do anything to make up for what Ive done.
Take today for example, hoping to prove my ability and let her not be mad at me again, so I did everything which I am supposed to. But in the end, I failed once again.
I was scared, upset and most of all, felt really lousy. Is it so difficult for me to accomplish 2 simple tasks? Why didnt I think at all? What was I thinking? That's when I look at her, realised I am useless in every aspect of my life.

Where will all these lead to?
Are we simply waiting or striving forward?
What will become of us?
I know I shouldnt kept thinking about it, but rather, should focus on what I have now
Cant stop myself, all I need is assurance

mich @ 12:06 AM