::you're my saving grace ::

Friday, March 06, 2009

This week has been a really sweet one, knowing for the fact that she was waiting for me downstairs at my office building, gave me something to smile about and wondering why does time seems to pass so slowly. Anyways, baby was surprised that I really dressed up for Jason Mraz concert. Overall, awesome voice, fantanstic opera singing and great music & the best company. What more could I ask for? Satisfied bitch.
However, the night didnt as well as we expected and got home really late with aching feet. Hurts so badly that all I wanted is to sit down and rest up till now. But I really appreciate whatever was done for me.

Guess sometimes things aint as easy and simple as you think it would be. There is no way you can undo a mistake you've made. We see ourselves making mistakes and we have to learn our own lessons. At the end of it all, we wondered, we tried, we learnt, we failed, it seriously beat the hell out of never trying.

I am not learning anything new everyday. What happened to the becoming of the person I want to be? I am just letting life pass. I'm just focused on the stupidest things in life. What's worse, I haven't achieved anything at all.

Someone asked me a question which is totally not appropriate. Shall not say what the question was, I felt rather annoyed and insulted. How do u define yourself as being serious? A future? or just being faithful without much thoughts about the future? Let me tell you, she means the world to me. She's my everything. I'm sorry if you fucking cant accept the fact that I am gay, you just have to live with it and stop being so judgemental based on what you've seen or heard around you. Have your own opinion for once, please?
Sometimes, I really do not understand why do people around me acted like they know & understands me so well, which in fact, they seriously don't. I love to joke around with close friends, but that doesn't mean I share my personal life and thoughts with them. I teared because I feared, resulted from too much accumulated thoughts over the years. Mind you, I am not the one to be blame for it.

I love my darling so much. I really do. She, completes me. She's my one and only.

Looking around, I came to realize, no matter how ugly, annoying, infuriating, sickening, loathsome your sweetheart is, regardless of the hurtful, piercing, heartbreaking words that are unleashed from his/her mouth, if you seriously love him/her, it'll never change the amount of love your heart habours for him/her. And you'll hate yourself to core for being that way because you can't help it, it isn't within your control. Now that's what I call love, baby.

I was thinking the other day.. if you were able to be yourself with this person and not be afraid to show your anger when you're upset, are you to be called selfish for being thoughtless, in the sense that you are accused of not thinking of how your anger will affect his/ her feelings? Is it better to just hide it all inside and leave your feelings to be unknown even though it hurts?

Sometimes people just feel so comfortable being the real them in the company of significant others that they just let all their feelings out. Is that a crime? If you play the role of the 'significant other' and you happen to face this situation, you need to understand that he/she who expresses his feelings to you, be it of anger or watever, does so because you mean something to him/her. People don't just go around letting their feelings known to any Tom, Dick or Harry out there.

You simply warmth my heart & make me feel secure coz I am surrounded by your embrace, your sweet kiss and most of all, the cute little irresistible smile. :))

mich @ 11:18 PM