::you're my saving grace ::

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Its been more than a week since we last hang out due to unforeseen circumstances as well as her preparation for her upcoming exams. I seen her like for a few minutes each time this week. I seriously do miss her so much, and hugging her and never want to let go of that embrace. For the fear that, it would possibly be the last hug or kiss from her. I haven been eating nor sleeping well these days. Whats even worse is that, I cant even focus on my studies. The fear of losing her has been so great that I can totally skip meals, without feeling hungry or go without sleep, not feeling tired at all. I seriously do miss her so much that I want to be by her side through the good and bad times. I am seriously afraid of losing her. I cried so much these days, even now when I am writing this post.
I miss my girlfriend
I miss her smile
I miss how she always tease me
I miss the times we used to go and eat good food
I miss the times when we always making fun of each other
I miss the times when we will still talk on the phone after we parted for 5 minutes
I miss all the chat we had when we got home be it online or on the phone
I miss the times when we will go school or work together
I miss the times when we sneak into each other house
I miss the times when she patiently waits for me for hours to
finish work so that we could hang out
I miss her smell
I miss her touch
I miss her warmth hug
I miss the serious look on her face when she is listening attentively to something
I miss those angry looks she had
I miss the way she laugh when she sees something funny or I did something silly or stupid
I miss the things she does to seek my attention
I miss all her saying and scolding me, for my own good
I miss her with her head lying on my shoulder
I miss all the quiet times with her, not saying anything, with arms around each other
I miss how she will talk about our future
about what we going to have in our home
like dog, hamsters, drums and guitars
and how many rooms we should have
and the household chores and how much she wants a car
so that she can drive me to work
I miss her singing
I miss hearing her voice
I miss her silly face making
I miss the funny noises she make when she is about to sleep
I miss her complaining to me about her friends & school
I miss her talking about her family
I miss learning all the stuff which she is interested in
I miss being with her through all the bad and good times
But most of all,
I miss her, her everything. I miss her like crazy.

Today when I was alone all myself, walking along the streets, I couldnt stop crying
the songs being played & the food being displayed reminds me of her and the times we had together
Looking through the photos, my entries as well as the card she wrote to me,
all those happy, sad, awkward and angry moments we had together,
the sweet things she does or wrote and etc.
I cant help but teared. I teared so much.
She is the greatest girlfriend, one could possibly have
I seriously miss and love her so much that I cant possibly imagine what my life would be like without her

I know I did something
that hurt you unintentionally
Please dont leave me
I will do whatever it takes
to make everything right
and nothing is gonna change my love
for you

I wont laugh anymore
I wont smile anymore
I wont want to dress up anymore
I am back to my old emotional & lost self again.

And no matter what happens,
she is someone I will always love and
will never ever forget till I enter eternal sleep.
And I will never, ever hurt her and
will promise to do whatever I can to help
whenever she needs it

How can I be smiling like before?
When baby you don't love me anymore
How can I be smiling when you're gone?
Will I be strong enough to carry on?
Say it isn't so
Tell me you're not leaving
Say you're changed your mind now
That I am only dreaming
This is not goodbye
This is starting over
If you wanna know
I don't wanna let go

mich @ 9:34 PM