::you're my saving grace ::

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Was able to be with my gf for the past 2 days. I felt so happy just being around her. Yesterday, spent most of the time chilling at her place. She showed me so many photos of her with her family over the years. I got to know a lot about her family and their lives. Oh you know what, my gf is so cute when she was younger. Simply irresistible!!!
Today see ourselves at east coast enjoying good food as well as taking pictures. Looking at the houses in that area, cant help but wonder when will I able to live in one of these places with her? I really do want a place to call my own, with her by my side always :))). I want to be around her all the time even though she is constantly angry with me and scolding me. All these imperfections make her a great girlfriend. I love her.

I was watching lindsay on ellen show the other day. And she said, "You know when people are together so much it gets really difficult and you forget who you are because you’re more concerned about being with the other person."
I totally agree with it, it like you have become too involved with someone and about their lives that you tend to forget who you are as a person and all the goals you want to achieve in your life.
People around you start talking. They tend to judge whatever you say or do and how much you have changed and etc.. And most of them are hurtful or insulting remarks. Seriously what gave them the fucking right to do that when they merely see or heard part of him/ her of her life. Did they actually know the inside life of the person and what made them become who they are now? Why are people being so judgemental instead of trying to put themselves into their shoes?
It doesnt take a fucking day or two to change something, it takes a lot of courage to make changes to your life. Do they actually know?

I am such a failure
I am so stupid
I am so dumb
I am so useless
I am so lousy
I simply cant accomplish anything
I simply let everyone who love and care for me down
I let my parents down
I let my sister down
I let my gf down
I begin to question my existence

I should stop rambling and start studying!!!!

mich @ 11:51 PM