::you're my saving grace ::

Thursday, August 13, 2009

I've always told myself that if things are gona happen, they'll happen and most of the time you can't stop anything from happening cos u aint God and you don't know the future. So let's just not care at all. I'm not insecure. No I'm not the kind. Don't know why the hell I make myself feel that way. Like what is my problem? Why the hell do I bother wasting my time, entertaining all those fuckin thoughts. No I'm not afraid. Why should I be? Where has my confidence gone to? I won't trust. I won't fear. I don't care what happens next.I choose not to bother, anymore. They are strange, differently made yet cruel in similar ways. People won't be nice to you just because you are to them. Even if you give them all you've got, treat them well and try your very best to please them, they just don't bother. Not only do they take you for granted and chuck you aside, they choose others over you, making you feel like a fool - pathetic and shattered. But they don't know that. Sometimes you wonder if they even care.Soon your esteem hits negative 100 and you don't know why but you feel terribly hurt. Then you wonder why do they treat you this way? You don't understand. All you know is that it stings like hell and tears won't stop themselves from streaming down. I've come to accept the fact that people won't appreciate you no matter what you do. You could crack your head each day to get ideas on making people happy but you'll never become a priority. And there's nothing you can do about it. So my white flag is raised and I give up. It's no use trying to be someone to people who will never accept you for. the entire excruciating process rewards you with nothing but misery and pain.I know how it feels to be rejected, unwanted and tossed aside for more important things all the time. I know what it's like to feel ultra low and deep in the dumps.Why do people always choose to desert you when you need them the most?It's been a hundred times.And I'm sick and tired.dont expect that someone will change for you, and everything would be fine. you just have to live with it and understands them, without hoping they would change.

mich @ 5:03 PM