::you're my saving grace ::

Monday, August 17, 2009

last week, saw myself at winebos with love and drank a bottle of wine together.it was the 1st time that I drank so much wine. and spent a passionate evening the day after. I am really glad for everything that happened and made me realise how important I am in your life. Love said words that touches my heart and made me teared upon hearing it and I quote, "even though we have been together for just a year, it is difficult to let go of those memories", "I dont want you to go away from my life.", "you treat me really really nice and i know that you genuinely and sincerely love me alot." awww...isn't that sweet. i love her.

I know what it feels like when you realise you'll never become a priority or of any importance even though you're constantly putting them in your list of priorities and importance. i know what it feels like to be not respected by any of your friends.it hurts when you realise that you lost most of your friends along the way. I know what it feels like to be looking at people around you who are laughing and joking among themselves and you are all alone and realise youve got no one. i know what it feels like to always be a constant letdown to my loved ones. Reality slapped you across your face and tells you, "YOU'VE GOT NO ONE!"
then you felt was dejected, rejected, lonely and pathetic.
Maybe I am just too boring to be with. Sigh.

i have a wonderful relationship with her. i had someone who appreciated me for who i was. someone i didn't have to fear myself in front of. someone who is so so cute and sooo very affectionate at times. i love her so much.

i'm sorry. i'm sorry i had so many doubts or many insecurities. i really really love you. and right now i need you to know that i don't want to lose you over something so stupid cos i love being with you. and i want to know how you feel about everything. i know you've in your small subtle ways done things for me and i'm so glad to have you. i love you so so so much.i've never in my life loved someone so much and so hard or ever wanted someone or something so much before.

i'm not saying she's THE one for me till i grow old and die (but i seriously hope she is) but all i know is that right now, i want only one thing and one person so bad it hurts.
But love, I just want to let you know that I dont wanna love nobody else,I dont wanna find somebody new.I dont wanna live without your love,I just wanna live my life with you cos you are all that i need

this is who i am. whether u like it or not there is just no cause behind who this person is.i don't like the way you speak, so contemptuously. i don't like some of the things you said to me. i don't write for the sake of my readers, so dont fucking judge me or what i wrote.its my life. even if i do write about me fucking around, its none of your concern. and you do not have any fucking idea how much this person went through, to be where she is today. all you know is about me is what i have written in my blog and then you came up with your own conclusion about me and my life now. it saddens me to realise that you are just as shallow as everyone i know.

mich @ 5:18 PM